I was just going to reply to Erika and Sebastien's comments about my Oatmeal blog... However then I began to dig a little deeper into what my reply was going to be and realized that I'd like to share a little more in a larger reply/ new post.
In reply, I begin...
It is truly amazing how in such a short time I feel like I have been able to begin to "take advantage" of the smallest things in this program that have made me more optimistic and look at the smallest things in my day that make me happier and more ready for the challenges ahead of me... Getting the news about my placement in the Ukraine was one of those light bulb moments for me. Although people have told me that I am by nature an optimistic and positive person to be around, I have never really felt that I have been conscious of these personal attributes that I hold. Which brings me back to my light bulb moment with reading about my placement; I feel that having to go through that process and see the good in my future challenges in this program really made me more conscious of my own optimism and positivity. I feel that I have since been able to see the small things in my day (like the oatmeal packets) that have helped me through different challenges that I have since faced. It was through this process of bringing forth these characteristics that I held that I was able to be confident in a very hard decision that I had to make in order to be happy with myself and my experience in this program. Just two weeks ago I was faced with a challenge that really struck me to the core, I had to decide what type of experience I wanted from this program, and this meant questioning how involved I wanted to be. I had come to realize that I had just taken on too much in my fourth year and was trying to put 100% of myself into all aspects of my life: being a 4th year full-time student, having 2 part-time jobs (working 20 hours a week), being a long distance girlfriend, daughter and sister, fundraising in my home town, as well as trying to make it to every Beyond Borders meeting and fundraising event.... I was maxing myself out and it was only 2 weeks into the second semester. Something had to give, but what? I had to weigh my options and determine what was going to allow me the space to be myself, be happy and give myself fully to a program that I had waited 3 years to apply to...
Which brings me to another amazing experience I have had during my time in this program, I have found many pleasures in getting to know each person that I have met through this program, which goes to say that Everything Happens for a Reason. I am a true believer in this saying and I have found people in this program with spirits that I have never come across in all the groups of people I have met over the years. It has been through meeting all of the individually amazing people that has helped me through some very hard decisions that I have made in the last couple weeks (although you may not even know it!!!).
Some people may wonder why talking about being optimistic, positive and how I feel about the people in this program has any real significant link to one another... But it all comes together in the form of support. The type of support that I feel doesn't even have to be said in words or expressed with gestures, a support that one can believe in because I can see the beauty of passion and love in each and every one of the people in this program, a beauty that is individual in nature. It was through this 'unknowing' support that the decision to let something go this semester to be able to fully experience this program became a positive experience and a decision that was much easier to make because of each and every one of the 13 people in the Beyond Borders program.
Wow. Brieanne, thanks for this note. My feelings are 100% resonated through your blog. Generally I don't like to judge but there are those moments in life where you think "I could never be friends with that person" whether it's because you're afraid to approach them, whether their way of decision making is completely different from yours or perhaps you are way too similar. But in this group of Beyond Borders students, everyone comes in with a unique personality and history which only adds to the diversity of the group. The support I personally have felt is amazing, from random facebook messages to texts on an occasional basis. I am glad to be sharing this experience with you and the rest of the group. A note on you though, you are truly an inspiration. You do so much and your efforts, attitude and encouragement towards all of us has not gone unnoticed! Travelling abroad and working in our local placements we will need to support each other and I'm glad I have you guys to work through the hard times. Cheers.
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